Monday, January 9, 2017

Modern Films Rant

Before you jump into this piece I have written I would like you to note that I love virtually all film. If it is inturrupted as "Donal does not like Oscars films or Action films" - then I am sorry. I did not mean for the article to come across as this. I LOVE action films, romance, Oscar films etc. I love films. This is why I have written this below.

3 THINGS ON THIS Ryan Walker. First, I have this theory. Lets say I am a movie critic. Now, I want to be known. I want to have a name for myself! A film comes out and I review it. The film is cool but touchy feely maybe with emotions and romance in it but there is also sci-fi or adventure... BOOM. I don't like it (the "I" that is the critic doesn't like it). The critic usually does not have the language to describe and critique a film that is both "this" and "this". The critic is afraid that if they describe too many different themes in a film that their audience will be lost. "What is all the political undertone you mention and the fact that the lady represents old America and that her being beaten by the business man is representative of modern capitalism destroying civilians freedoms! I only saw a woman getting smacked around the place!" New audiences are trained to only look at the facade of a film... is someone killing someone. Check. Is some lead female semi-naked. Check. Is some handsome man semi-naked, and build like a demi-god. Check. Is stuff blowing up. Check. Is there a political undertone that is attempting to reach the masses. Nope (could put it in but it would be lost on the audience and ultimately take up screen time where stuff could be blowing up). Do we treat women with respect and with equality? Nope - kids do not know what this is really so we are just risking alienating our key demographic by including equality of girls. Are ethnic minorities being respected? No of course not - us respecting ethnic minorities alienates the plot that the key demographic is comfortable with. It is what our key demographic looks for in an action film. Now, lets say that a film comes out that is pretty different to this... almost... ALMOST I SAID! Almost as if it were engineered to win Oscars, like La La Land. No explosions! And there are political undertones! And there are throwback references to classical cinema of a bygone age! What say you now of modern cinema? Ha! I say (and this Donal now not a critic speaking), I say that "La La Land" and the likes, "12 years a slave" etc etc, basically "Oscar films" will always exist because this is Hollywood karma restoring itself. Hollywood makes a few billion a year on action... Hey why not throw classical romance a bone, okay lets make a classical romance film. What about political undertone, I like it, lets make a film with political undertone! What about respecting women and treating them equally? Hmmmmm. Hmmmmm. Hmmmmm. What do you think men? Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm, Hmmm. You know what... it'll probably get us an Oscar! Throw in some respect of women too. So back to the critics... they have what? 200 words to describe the film? 100 words? It is clear what the Avengers is. That can be described in 100 or 200 words. "La la Land", yep 170 words will review that film no problem. But what a second, don't try to get me to review an Action/Romance/Political Undertone film! Who am I, Jay Sherman?Also, there is the thing that if 9 critics say that a film is good, and if a critic wants to be heard, are they going to be voice number 10 saying it is good? No, they want to stand out as "listen to me! My voice is different! 

This is where POINT NUMBER TWO comes in! Rotten Tomatoes is full of these kind of critics. That is why I never trusted Rotten Tomatoes. 

POINT NUMBER 3! IMDB.com simply rocks. Go there. I will leave you with my favorite piece of poetry that is relevant to this point from W .B. Yeats from his poem "September 1913" - "What need you, being come to sense, 
But fumble in a greasy till 
And add the halfpence to the pence 
And prayer to shivering prayer, until 
You have dried the marrow from the bone; 
For men were born to pray and save: "

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